Three More Years of Christmas Cheer

As promised, here is our yearly Christmas letter. I know, I know, we have only done 3 updates in 16 years, but at least we have included every year. For those who have never read the rest of the story, or would like a refresher, you can find the last years here and here. For those of you who stick it out and read the whole installment this year, there is a special bonus video at the end. I suppose you could just skip reading and scroll to the end, but if you are that busy I might suggest some time management techniques, or perhaps try guided meditation.

2014 “In my mind, I’m goin’ to Carolina…”

The pair settles in (so they think) for at least a few years in Southern Pines, NC, but one thing in particular stands out as a sign that their continued, temporary attempts at settled domesticity continue to be a struggle. Only houseplants, particularly those that thrive in the face of neglect, survive under their care. The sand hills of North Carolina are called that for a reason, and Petra and Rob’s tendency to kill useful crops is highlighted when they fail to get even one sunflower to sprout in their garden. Sand, apparently, only looks like dirt when well adapted local plants are already growing in it. Oddly enough, the kale that was planted by the earlier homeowners continued to grow after the soil was turned. The point here: Don’t ask them to water your garden while you are away. To drive that point home: Rob killed yet another rosemary plant, this time with the lawnmower. Rosemary, they both are told, is impossible to kill. Challenge accepted!

Some other notable events from 2014:

Germany wins the World Cup (it is like the World Series, but for soccer and for the whole world). Petra works from home and Rob’s boss is a soccer fan, so somehow the schedule allows for afternoon soccer parties at the house that June.

Germany wins the World Cup

The couple’s first (and last) Cat. 

They only have it for a few weeks (in the spirit of full disclosure, they are merely cat sitting), but one thing becomes abundantly clear: They like animals who poop outside, even if it culminates in turning a poop-filled bag inside out and finding the nearest garbage can. Sometimes shitting in public is the more civilized course of action. For the most part, they decide that they can get most of the benefits of cat ownership here. Careful, Rob just lost ten minutes of his life to the internet because of that link.

Cat Cat planning Rob and Petra’s demise

NC travels

2015:

Petra takes up the accordion (sexy!). Miss California 1957 becomes Petra’s accordion teacher. Lorna’s talent in the Miss California pageant was playing the accordion, and Petra bumps into her one day while she was playing at Southern Pines’ Octoberfest. This story isn’t going anywhere in particular, except perhaps that it illustrates the many unexpected, wickedly cool things that Petra and Rob run into when they are paying attention. Either way, Petra starts to learn an instrument that requires strength (got it), stamina (no problem) and ten fingers all performing independent actions (working on it). Rob claps at the end of every song, because he finds it simply amazing.

Otherwise they spend the year bebopping around, going out to the North and South Carolina coasts, cooking and eating up a storm, and generally having a good time. Rob also receives a five pack of machetes for his 44th birthday, and those could have only come from one person (you know who you are, and so do the authorities).

2015 was also the year of meeting up with old friends.

For the most part, time in North Carolina flies by, and the two don’t even realize how quickly the next move comes on. Where the hell did those two years go? The last third of the year finds the two heading to Germany, with a brief stop in San Antonio for some schoolin’.

Here are some highlights from the road trip. Some Petra firsts: Krispy Crème (not sure she is convinced of its merits), first fish caught (she is convinced, and eats the hell out of that mackerel). They hit some honky tonks, and Rob gets all giddy, because deep down he wishes he could be pickin’ the guitar and passing the J around with Willie Nelson, but that is just not where life has him for now.

Petra catches her first fish and eats Krispy Crème
for the first time

Rob grinning like an idiot in Nashville

Paying homage to the King

  

The best part about Texas (except, maybe, for all the freedom)

Fall in Texas (the second best thing about Texas)

Rob attends the 10 week Captain’s Career Course in San Antonio. They move into a hotel with no kitchen. After the course they move to Germany for the next duty station, and spend the first couple of months in a seemingly identical hotel room, slowly becoming desensitized to rice and canned mackerel.  

Sidebar: 5 months in a hotel with no kitchen and a dog is a long time. “Hey, I am going to go practice guitar (two feet from you).” “Hey I am going to stretch out (at your feet while you try to read during my grunting).” Hey I am going to fart (in the same room as you for five months straight. Thanks for cooking rice and mackerel again).” Although they swear that their love grows with proximity, they also swear that having more than one room would be a delight. At least they now know that they could sail around the world together in a small boat. 

They don’t want to talk about it more than that, but suffice it to say that finally getting into a house was lovely.

Planning our attack during Captain’s Career Course

Booboo is also tired of the hotel

Back in Germany

It took 5 years of planning/scheming/conniving/begging/luck, but Rob finally got orders to Germany. Now he gets to celebrate “Cowboy Hat Day” the last day of every week. 

They find like-minded people

They try new foods

In Germany the spend the year seeing stuff, going to fests and occasionally putting on Lederhosen and dirndl (Rob rarely wears the dirndl, as it is too small). The new town is very cool, and the locals need little reason to burst into celebration. The year flies by, and they seem to agree that this is the fastest a year has blown by in a long while. The highlight is a nine day hike in the Dolomites in July, but it is truly difficult to pick one highlight in an otherwise great year. 

In the mountains again: The main problem with the
Dolomites is how ugly they are

Another highlight: Getting stand-up paddle boards

Petra gets another office job

Dreaming again of 2 martini lunches and afternoon golf (wait, that her old advertising agency bosses who did that), Petra gets a job doing conversion rate optimization (what the hell is that) at a large German firm. She spends the last couple of months of 2016 working in an office with programmers who consider changing clothes daily as oppression against which they must battle. It makes her feel like Rob is there with her (all of those pictures of Rob in the same shirt were not, in fact, taken on the same day). She is happy to be back “in the shit” but her accordion practice suffers.

Before they close, it is time to do a brief comparison:

Oktoberfest vs. Octoberfest

	Oktoberfest	Octoberfest	Winner
Visitor Height	Taller	Shorter	Oktoberfest
Beer	1 Liter	As little as .33 liter	Oktoberfest
Visitors	5.9 million	Can’t calculate	Depends on if you like crowds
Locations	1 (Munich)	Many	Octoberfest
Beer Tents	34	Usually one	Octoberfest (harder to lose friends)
Vessel	1 Liter Glass	Plastic	Oktoberfest (Plastic? Savages!)
Fun Factor	High	High	Tie
Drunk Factor	Also high	Also high	Oktoberfest (Drunk Germans are less angry)
Males Wear	Lederhosen	Lederhosen	Tie
Women Wear	Dirnld	Mini-Skirt-Dirndl	Octoberfest (Tradition is fun, but leg is better)

Winner: It is a close one, but Oktoberfest takes it by a nose.

The people are taller: Admittedly, we didn’t know that Jill
would invite her brother Frodo to the 2015 Southern Pines Octoberfest.

As the weather becomes less delightful, Petra and Rob dig in and prepare for the Christmas season. They visit a few of the many Christmas markets the area has to offer, and get ready for the annual pilgrimage to Pfullendorf for Christmas. As always, they are grateful for the wonderful friends, family and great life they have, and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Enjoy the holidays, wherever you may be, and here is the video they promised (threatened):